


Once Upon A Try Again

by AbsolutelyGarbage



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Complete, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jean is an asshole, M/M, Self realization, Time Travel, he gets better though, tw:bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 16:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1232905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsolutelyGarbage/pseuds/AbsolutelyGarbage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean is just an average high school student trying to get into the popular crowd, he isn't a jerk really.</p><p>Until he wakes up next to the biggest nerd at his school, Marco Bott.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once Upon A Try Again

**Author's Note:**

> This fic ruined my life  
> Enjoy

Jean didn’t _hate_ Marco. He hated a lot of people, his teachers, his parents, Eren fucking Jaeger. But the Bodt kid wasn’t even someone who was really on his radar other than being one of his regular targets. It was Mr. honor student’s own fault, really.

Jean himself wasn’t really strong so he only targeted those weaker than himself, it was a cowardly thing to do but it was that or get the shit beat out of him constantly. As a Sophomore getting into the in crowd, especially since they were all seniors, was tough. There were only a few choices, be awesome or look awesome by showing you were better than other students.

Despite what he would insist almost _constantly_ Jean was not awesome. So he did what he had to do. It wasn’t as if he was _that_ mean, Jean reasoned, if anything he was helping the kid out; teaching him to stand up for himself.

With the biggest party of the semester coming up and still not having managed to get invited, Jean was getting desperate. His only known contact with the group of seniors was when they were laughing at the expense of one of Jean’s victims-er, targets. So he did the only rational thing and proposed an idea.

Wouldn’t it be funny if he tricked gullible little Marco into attending the party so he could play the mother of all pranks on him? The upperclassmen were so in love with the idea they didn’t even notice Jean had effectively invited himself to the party as well.

It wouldn’t be anything terribly cruel, really, just a bucket of water dumped from a stair case onto an unsuspecting speckled sophomore’s head. It would be extra funny, Jean noted, if he were to make some sort of wet dog joke(Dalmatian being one of the upperclassmen’s favorite insults-er, nicknames-for Marco).

So all that really left was the task of getting Marco to the party, with his goody-two-shoes attitude and overly trusting track record it would be about as hard getting a five year old to eat cake. Really, it was Marco’s own fault for falling for it.

“Oi, Marco” Jean nudged the slightly shorter boy as he passed him in the hallway. Marco sighed.

“Jean, I’m sorry but I really don’t have time for this right now. Class starts in two minutes” He said with a frown as if Jean’s antagonizing him was an appointment he had to cancel. It was a regular thing, Jean supposed, but it was still a weird attitude to have.

“About that” Jean looked at the floor, he wasn’t good with apologies even when he didn’t mean them “That’s not what I wanted your attention for…” he trailed off. God Jean just spit the goddamn words out, this is your ticket in.

“Hmm?” Marco shut his locker and looked at Jean with curiosity.

“Actually, I think I’ve been a little…harsh, with my teasing” that was putting it lightly “and well I got invited to the party on Saturday”

Marco looked quizzical but didn’t say anything, waiting for Jean to finish. Seriously how did this kid expect to not get bullied when he was so damn passive?

“I can take a plus one, you know? And I was thinking it would be nice to have a…friend there”

The kid’s eyes lit up at this “we’re friends?” Ugh, keep dreaming freckles.

“Well, duh. I talk to you every day, don’t I?” he also punched him in the face most of the time but let’s just skip over that “Anyway, I thought it would be a good way to make things up to you too. You know, two birds with one stone”

Freckles grins “Sure Jean I’d love to go” then he glances at his watch, seriously who the fuck wears a watch anymore?, and his smile drops.

“I really have to go” he insists, god would it really kill him to be late for once? Not that Jean particularly wants to continue this conversation. “I’ll see you on Saturday then?”

“Saturday” Jean confirms with a nod of his head. Marco turns around but stops after a couple steps.

“I think it’s really brave of you to be doing this”

“Hah?”

“It takes a lot of courage to admit you’ve done someone wrong and even more to actively try to fix it” Marco says softly “And I think it would be unfair of me to sabotage it by holding onto the past. So you don’t have to worry about it, ok?”

Jean’s stomach churns uncomfortably “Oh, um, thanks”

Marco walks away and Jean shrugs it off. Man, what a dork. He totally deserves to be pranked hardcore.

Inviting Marco on Monday instead of later in the week turned out to be a huge mistake. Apparently ‘I’ll see you on Saturday’ wasn’t enough for the overly friendly teen and he talked to Jean way more than he should have during that week.

Despite being annoying it actually did wonders for his popularity. All he had to do was make disgusted and displeased faces at the seniors whenever Marco’s back was turned and they started cracking up laughing. He even got invited to sit with them during lunch, which is good because Marco had sat with him on Monday and Tuesday and that was getting old fast.

Still the freckled boy stopped at the crowded table to talk to Jean amiably about their English assignment on _To Kill a Mockingbird_ which Jean was pretending he didn’t read, because he was way too cool for good grades, for a whole five minutes on Thursday.

The seniors expressed their sympathy and assured Jean that the prank would _totally_ be worth having to deal with Marco for a week. Jean wasn’t so sure, the kid’s over the top must do good personality was annoying and made it hard for Jean to pretend he wasn’t an asshole. Marco’s secretly an asshole, Jean told himself, he just appears nice for attention (never mind the fact that all of that attention was negative and made Marco’s life harder)

Telling Marco off wasn’t an option yet, too much was at stake here. So Jean grinned and bore with it. At least Marco let Jean copy his homework. Which he needed to do because he didn’t study, that was for nerds. Like Marco.

Friday Jean narrowly dodged exchanging numbers with his classmate by pretending his phone was broken but ended up having to exchange emails instead.

 Mbodt75@gmail.com, Jean looked at the address scribbled on his palm in disdain. What kind of dork just used their name for an email anyway? Didn’t he have any creativity?

Saturday brought an excruciating boredom. The party didn’t start until 10:00 and it was only 3:00 when Jean had gotten his homework done, only because his parents made him. No other reason, school was overrated and grades didn’t matter to him at all.

Eventually he gave in and decided to get ready. It would take a while, besides he had to leave early since he was going to have to walk. He couldn’t drive and he couldn’t exactly ask his parents for a ride, even if they were going to be home tonight.

Around 4:30 his ploy finally benefited Jean for the first time since he’d managed to get himself invited. His phone buzzed with a notification from his email.

\----

From:Mbodt75@gmail.com

To:Jkirshman69@yahoo.com

**Hey**

Febuary 4, 2014 at 4:30 PM

Jean, do you have a ride to the party tonight? I asked my dad and he said it was cool for me to take the pickup so I could give you a ride if you need one :)

\-----

Perfect, Jean quickly tapped out a reply.

\-----

From:Jkirshman69@yahoo.com

To:Mbodt75@gmail.com

**Re:Hey**

Febuary 4, 2014 at 4:37 PM

U hav no idea man, I thought I was gonna hav 2 fuckin wlk!!! ur a fuckin life savr Bodt. Pick me up on 3rd st at 9:45, k?

\-----

Jean smirked as he pressed send, he could practically see Marco’s disdain at his foul language and typos. The kid was too fucking tense all the time. Maybe Jean should get him plastered before following through with his plan, just to see how he would act.

Then again his reaction to the prank wouldn’t be as priceless if he was too wasted to have any idea what was going on. Plus there was no way Mr. honor student would even touch alcohol of any kind.

___

From:Mbodt75@gmail.com

To:Jkirshman69@yahoo.com

**Re:Re:Hey**

Febuary 4, 2014 at 4:49 PM

Yeah, sure thing Jean. I’ll see you then! :)

____

Did he end _all_ of his emails with a smiley? Ugh.

Jean didn’t bother responding again, he had a ride and that’s all he really needed from the conversation. Now the real issue was at hand; how to look nice while also looking like he didn’t give a fuck. Eventually he decided on a band shirt and clean jeans.

At 9:30 Jean was regretting not having Marco pick him up at his house, it was freezing out. Still, it wasn’t a good idea to have him know where he lived.

By the time he got to 3rd street, Marco was already there waiting. That kid is way too punctual. Seriously who does that? Jean had said 9:45 expecting Marco to run late as most people did. Now they had an extra 15 minutes to kill, no way they were showing up to that party early or on time.

“Hey” Jean greeted Marco with a stiff wave, he could see his breath.

“Hi Jean!” Marco hopped out of the driver’s seat to open the door for Jean. He was dressed in a button down shirt and black slacks and oh god he was wearing a tie. Ugh, what a dork.

“This isn’t a date, Bodt” He warned with a scowl and freckles blushed deeper.

“No, it’s just uh, the door only opens if you jiggle the handle like this” he demonstrates “So, I was just opening it, because you didn’t know…”

“That was a joke, you need to learn to lighten up” Jean shrugged sitting in the passenger seat.

“Oh” Marco said, dumb founded.

Jean made Marco stop at a gas station claiming he had to use the restroom and also took the opportunity to very carefully select a pack of gum. Marco didn’t say anything but Jean could tell the way he was checking his watch being late was an enormous amount of stress for him.

This of course, made it all the more fun and Jean wasted an extra 5 minutes just to watch him squirm.  They arrived at the address around 10:20 and most people were just hardly getting there themselves. Marco visibly relaxed at this.

Before going in Jean went ahead and did Marco a favor, yanking off the tie and pulling his shirt out of his pants.

“H-hey” he protested as Jean mussed up his hair. He was still planning on going through with the prank but Marco’s appearance was going to make this whole experience _painful_. Jean wasn’t heartless.

“You looked like a nerd” Jean said simply and Marco pouted. Ugh.

“Jean!” The ring leader of the seniors greeted as they entered the house, grinning “I see you brought your friend” he winks and Jean holds back a groan.

Marco completely gets over his mourning over his lost tie at the word friend and actually sticks his hand out. “Hi, I’m Marco!” UGH

The upperclassman laughs and shakes his hand “I know, Jean’s told us a lot about you” Jean swears if Marco smiles any wider he’s going to break his face.

“This is a nice party, spiffy really” spiffy, Jean is going to die of second hand embarrassment if this continues.

“I hate to break up this lovely meeting, but mind if you show me were the booze is?” Jean asks, wondering why he isn’t amused all of a sudden. “The strong stuff” The upperclassman immediately understands what Jean means.

“Hey, Phil!” He whistles for another tall boy to come over “Show Marco around will ya? Jean here wants the hard stuff” Phil looks confused for a moment before his eyes widen and he takes a surprised but chatty Marco by the arm, leading him into the other room.

The first senior, Matt, takes Jean further into the house and points to an open staircase “The buckets already up there, when you’re in position let us know and we’ll get him standing where he needs to be” Jean nods and Matt hands him a can of beer before disappearing to socialize with his friends.

Jean takes a sip of the foul tasting liquid and scrunches his nose, ew. Still, he keeps sipping and milling about, socializing here and there. He isn’t even halfway through his first can when Marco finds him. Fantastic.

“Jean!” He calls out excitedly, approaching Jean with a Pepsi in hand. God, Pepsi, where did this kid think he was, Chuck-E-Cheese?

“Hey Marco” Jean greets with a strained smile “What happened to Phil?” Jean made a mental note to pile rotten eggs in his locker later.

“Oh” Marco’s smile dropped “We weren’t hitting it off very well so I decided to come find you”

“Glad I did too, why are you over here by yourself?” Marco asked curiously. Jean scowled, like he needed social advice from the biggest nerd there.

“You don’t know much about parties, do you” It wasn’t as much a question as it was a statement. Marco shrugged.

“I guess not, this is my first party” it was Jean’s too but like hell he was going to say that out loud.

There was a silence between them when Jean realized where they were standing and figured this was as good a time as any to go through with his prank.

“Then you should branch out a bit, these guys’ll love you” Jean says encouragingly, knocking Marco’s face into his drink. He came up sputtering.

“Oh, sorry about that” Jean hummed “let me get you some napkins, wait right here” Marco nodded wiping his face off as well as he could with his palm.

Jean walked around to climb up the staircase discreetly. Once at the top he looked down at Marco, the boy was looking a little displeased at the mark on his shirt. He huffed out a sigh and looked around, waiting for Jean’s return.

Suddenly Jean wished there was a way for him to do this without Marco knowing it was him. Maybe he won’t look up, Jean thought meekly before placing his hands on the bucket, leaning forward, and falling.

Some idiot, probably drunk off their ass, had left spilled something, probably beer, all over the staircase. When he stepped forward, Jean slipped on it and tumbled down the stairs.

He heard someone yell his name in a panic “Jean!”

“Jean, are you ok?” He vaguely registered Marco coming towards him before he blacked out.

“Jean!”

“Jean!”

“Jean, wake up!”

Jean shivered as the covers were ripped off of him. He blinked slowly, who was that? Why was there a mostly naked man in Jean’s room? How did Jean get here? Had the party been a dream. His eyes drifted to the face, lips pouted, brown eyes concentrating and absolutely covered with freckles.

“Marco!?” Jean jumped up scooting backwards and Marco chuckled, but it sounded wrong, too deep. He looked wrong too. Tall and filled out with just a little pre-shave stubble.

“Who were you expecting-Celine Dion?” That voice was too unsettling.

“Why are you in my room, what is going on, augh I _hurt_ ” Jean dully noted that from the feeling of it he must have landed on his butt though he could have sworn he had fallen face first “Since when are you so tall”

“We’re getting ready for your gallery; you know the one you’ve been preparing for the last _five years_. Remember?” Marco looked confused “Flattery will get you no-where mister; you and I both know I haven’t grown an inch since College. Now get out of bed, I’m not setting up your gallery by myself”

No, Jean did not even vaguely remember.

“Gallery? College? What happened to the party” Jean tries to stand and winces. Marco frowns in concern.

“I knew last night was a bad idea!” He exclaims wrapping an arm around a startled Jean “I knew you had to move around today and I knew you were drunk as fuck last night. Wine always gets you” Jean had no fucking idea what was going on.

“Wine? What? Last I checked I was drinking shitty beer-what do you mean last night? Why are you naked? Oh no” the pieces fit together “Oh no don’t tell me we…oh my god”

“I’m sorry Jean, I’ll take care of setting up today” Marco promised not realizing the entirety of Jean’s horror. He placed a chaste kiss on the other’s lips and Jean shoved him off force-fully.

“Marco, what the hell?” Jean wiped off his mouth with the back of his hand as he was minus a shirt.

“Look I don’t know what happened last night but I’m not, I’m not gay” Marco looks at him strangely and then begins to laugh.

“You had me seriously worried!” he scolds “stop joking around and get a shower, ok?”

“I’m not joking! What’s going on? Why are you so old, what happened to my voice and where the fuck are we?” Jean asked gesturing around them.

“I’m not that old…” Marco started, offended before it finally dawned on him that Jean wasn’t joking.

“Jean” He starts, his tone suddenly serious “what’s the last thing you remember”

“The party!” Jean yells exasperated.

“You’re going to have to be specific Jean, we were at a party last night but something tells me you don’t remember it” Marco is still way too close for Jean’s comfort though it’s clear the arm around his waist is put there to make him feel safe.

“The home coming party, the one the seniors throw every year. I fell down the stairs and when I woke up I was here” Jean said, freaking out.

“High school? Stairs?” Marco looks as if he’s remembering, suddenly his eyes widen “But, but, that was _fifteen years ago_ ”

Fifteen years. No way. This had to be a joke. A dream. Something.

\----

“Jean!” Marco calls out in distress as he sees the other teen tumbling down the stairs at an alarming rate. He doesn’t make it to the bottom in time to catch him but a few seconds after.

“Jean, are you ok?”

It’s awful, Jean is bleeding from his head and his limbs seemed twisted. His eyes shut and Marco’s worried that he might be dead. He sinks to his knees shaking the gangly sophomore with no results.

“Somebody-“ Marco whips his head around to tell someone to call an ambulance but the upperclassmen are scattering in all directions if they haven’t left already. Suddenly Marco wishes he hadn’t been too afraid of someone stealing his phone to bring it. Jean’s was destroyed and he didn’t have time to locate a house phone. Not with Jean bleeding out on the steps.

Marco hoists Jean onto his back as gently as he can before carrying him to his vehicle. He probably drives way above the speed limit on his way to the hospital and he isn’t wearing a seat belt and normally that would make him wince but with Jean unconscious in the passenger seat he didn’t really care about all of that right now.

___

“Maybe amnesia…no it matches too neatly passing out and then waking up. Besides, at the hospital…” Marco was working through it, in a soft voice. All color had drained from his face and Jean wasn’t fairing much better.

“What happened at the hospital?” Jean asks annoyed “I can’t read your mind”

“You just, acted strangely when you woke up. Babbling about how I was shorter than you again. I thought it was the anesthetics at the time and you didn’t remember the dream the next day…”

“Something tells me it wasn’t just a dream” Jean finishes for him.

“We have to get you back. At least we know we can, or at least that we did it before” There was good old Marco, optimistic as always. Marco glanced at his watch and Jean scoffs.

“What?”

“You still wear a watch?”

Marco rolls his eyes and throws a shirt at Jean. “Get dressed” he commands gruffly “Our friends are going to be at an empty building in 15 minutes wondering where the hell we and your paintings are”

“I’m an Artist?” Jean smiles for the first time since his arrival, slipping the t-shirt over his head.

“Yeah” Marco seems pleased at his enthusiasm “This is your first big gallery but you’ve been doing commissions for a while” By the time he’s done speaking Marco’s almost fully dressed which is impressive seeing as his outfit is a lot more complicated than Jean’s.

“You still dress like a nerd” Jean notes scrunching his nose and pulling pants on. Marco sighs at the old insult.

“You graduated 6th in our class you know, nerd” Marco sticks his tongue out at Jean, taking his phone out and checking for messages. “I don’t know how good of an idea it is for everyone know you’re douche-high school” he corrects himself “high school Jean”

Jean scowls at this, he’s not a douche. Ok, maybe he’s a little bit of a douche. But we can’t all be saint freckles.

“So just roll with it, no matter what comes up. And for goodness sake, do not say no homo” Marco says and Jean opens his mouth to protest but he receives a look that makes him shut it right away.

\----

 “I suppose it’s too much to hope we’re roommates” Jean asks after a few minutes in Marco’s Prius, he _would_ drive a Prius.

“Well we have been living together since freshman year of college” Marco hummed, amused at Jean’s embarrassment “But I suppose you’re really ask if we’re _only_ roommates?” He asks. Jean nods sheepishly in confirmation.

In response, when stopped at a red light Marco holds up his hand, tapping his ring finger with the other before turning back to the road. Jean stares at the silver band in horror.

“We’re _married_!?” Marco chuckles. Jean glares, sadistic bastard is enjoying this way too much.

“Not yet, you want a spring wedding, on our anniversary” Marco’s voice takes on this soft sentimental tone.

“You don’t?” Jean asks curiously.

“I think it’s a bad idea, spring weddings are popular. We still haven’t found a venue” he sighs “But it’s not as if I don’t like the sentiment, getting married on our anniversary”

“Sounds pretty cheesy to me” Jean grumbles, crossing his arms.

“It’s _your_ idea, cheeseball” Marco teases and Jean gives him a ‘what did you just call me’ face.

“Don’t worry you don’t like that nickname” Marco laughs as they pull up to a fancy building, there’s a crowd of people outside.

“Oh!” Marco exclaims “I suppose it will seem weird if you don’t know anyone”

“That’s Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. You remember them from high school right?”

“I’m friends with Eren fucking Jaegar?” Jean cannot believe this.

“Sort of, you two still fight often” He moves on to point to a pony tailed woman and a shorter man with a buzz cut “Sasha and Connie, we met them in College”

Next he points out a woman with freckles who has an arm around what looks like a female Armin “Ymir and Christa. Ymir’s my sister and Christa is her girlfriend”

“Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie” He points out a tall nervous looking man, a broad shouldered muscled man, and a short blonde woman who looked like she’d rather be anywhere else, respectively.

“Got it?” Marco asks and Jean shakes his head “let’s go” he smiles dragging Jean out of the car.

___

The next hour is a rush and Marco isn’t sure how he ends up waiting in the hospital waiting room. He only vaguely remembers arriving, a bloody and bruised Jean in his arms.

Four shattered ribs, a broken arm, a sprained ankle but by some miracle no concussion or internal bleeding. That’s what the nurse told him and Marco supposed he was supposed to be relieved, Jean wasn’t in critical condition. He was going to be ok.

This didn’t stop him from shaking and glancing at the clock on the wall every few seconds. He concluded that he wouldn’t be relieved until Jean was fully awake and making shitty jokes like normal.

She’d thanked him, Jean’s mom, told him that he was brave, a hero of some sort but it didn’t feel that way. Marco felt extremely guilty, this was all his fault. Jean was on those stairs because he couldn’t handle a little Pepsi in his face. He’d been right there and he hadn’t even managed to catch him in time.

Jean was in that room an IV dripping pain killers into his arm because Marco hadn’t gotten to him sooner. So no, he didn’t feel like a hero.

___

Jean knew he should help more, but he couldn’t help but to pause every time he pulled a painting out of the back of Marco’s Prius to look at his work. He was, to put it lightly, brilliant. These paintings were better than anything he could ever dream of creating.

Marco was featured more often than not, concentrating as he painted an unknown blue room pink, smiling as he opened a gift, covering his mouth with tears in his eyes looking at the silver band on his finger. The emotion in these paintings floored Jean and he just couldn’t process that they were _his_ emotions.

There were others too, Jean arm in arm with a white clad Mikasa. Marco told him it was Jean who walked Mikasa down the aisle for her and Armin’s  wedding.

 Annie in boxing gear, smiling as wide as he supposed was capable for her  while a gold medal shined around her neck. Reiner kissing a flustered Bertholdt under the mistletoe.

Sasha holding a toddler’s hands as it takes its first steps, with a smile that reaches her eyes. Connie and Sasha’s baby boy Jeremie, Marco explains. Connie is in the picture next to it feeding a younger Jeremie with a bottle, looking exhausted but blissful.

 Ymir carrying Christa on her shoulders at what appeared to be a concert. Even Eren, in a cap and gown, proudly holding his degree in criminal investigation, made an appearance.

Looking at these paintings, the strangers hanging them seemed more familiar. Luckily his examining of them didn’t stand out too much since most of the strangers…his friends, were also looking at them, overcome with memory.

Jean was suddenly wishes he could remember all of these moments, to not be on the outside looking in. Marco places a comforting hand on his shoulder “come on, we’re taking a break”

They sit on now empty boxes eating pizza, Jean can’t help but smile a little noticing Marco’s drinking Pepsi. No one else is drinking beer this time; still at least this is something he can remember.

Watching Sasha eat is an interesting experience; she inhales almost an entire pizza on her own. Jean laughs and it feels natural, Marco smiles softly at him.

“So what’s this one” Jean asks as discretely as possible pointing to the painting of Marco in the blue room painting it pink. “A nursery, we finally got a surrogate and we thought it was going to be a boy. They looked at the ultra sound, it’s a girl”

A baby, he was going to have a baby. Jean’s scared and excited and he doesn’t know why. He’ll be home by then for sure “when?” he asks eagerly.

“6 weeks” Marco answers with a distant expression. “I hope he’s back in time” he murmurs and Jean’s confused for a moment before he realizes Marco means the Jean of this time period.

“I’m sure he will” Jean tries to be comforting. And it must be working because Marco nods and smiles a little.

They call it quits for the day a few hours later. They’re not done but they have the rest of the week before the gallery opens. Marco thanks them all and Jean tries to as well but he doesn’t remember most of their names.

\----

Things are a little awkward being alone with Marco. Just yesterday he was planning to dump water on his head and now they were engaged. What happened in the last fifteen years?

Remembering the party after today made Jean’s stomach turn with guilt “Hey Marco, speaking of sophomore year…”

“Yeah, I found out about the prank” Marco says and it’s a little surprising to Jean how easily he read his expression.

“Oh” Jean didn’t know what to say about that.

“We’d better start researching how to get you home” Marco said, shrugging it off.

___

Marco sat silently while the seniors, caught by their parents, explained the events to the authorities and Jean’s parents. The tale they tell is distinctly different from Marco’s. Here’s a quick guide.

Marco’s story: Jean was going to get napkins when he fell down the stairs, everyone got scared and left.

The upperclassman’s story: Jean was about to dump a bucket of water on Marco’s head when he tripped and fell. They panicked and left.

He wasn’t sure rather he should be mad at Jean or himself for falling for it. For being desperate enough for a friend that he readily believed his lies. So instead of being mad at anyone he just hurt. It hurt to know the last week, which was probably the best of his high school career thus far, was all faked.

He was being overdramatic, he knew it. With the state Jean was in did he really have room to be complaining? Still, feeling sorry for himself was easier than dealing with the more complicated emotions underneath.

____

“So much for the internet” Jean grumbles at around 11:30 pm. He and Marco had been researching their situation for hours with no results.

“We have to get up early again tomorrow” Marco resigned “we’ll take it as it comes I guess” Jean nods reluctantly, feeling absolutely drained after the long day.

Marco offers Jean the guest room which he gratefully takes. Even if he knows he’s engaged to Marco he doesn’t remember it and he isn’t ready to sleep in the same bed as him yet.

Jean has a fitful sleep that night, waking up from nightmares he can never quite recall once he’s woken up. They leave him more sad and empty than scared and he’s tempted to crawl into bed with Marco. He ignores the urge telling himself to grow up.

The next morning is rough for Jean given his lack of sleep. Marco has mercy on him, calling their friends to tell them they will be an hour late, making him some coffee, and allowing him some time to come back to life.

It feels nice to be this cared for and Jean smiles sleepily at his coffee and Marco laughs lightly. “I know you’re tired Jean but please stop making lover’s eyes at your coffee”

Jean sputters indignantly at this causing Marco to laugh more.

“Why are you marrying an idiot like me” Jean wonders out loud and Marco’s expression softens.

“You get a lot better” he answers bluntly, honestly.

“Yeah, right. I bet it’s really because I’m loaded” Jean gestures around them and Marco laughs.

“You’re an artist, Jean”

“And you’re unemployed” Jean retorts “how did we get all this stuff, anyway? Steal it?”

“I’m not unemployed!” Marco defends “I took the week off to help set up your gallery”

“Where do you work?” Jean asks, genuinely curious now.

“I’m a defense attorney” He hums and this seems around right for Marco. It fits in with his sense of justice and tendency to assume the best of people.

“What’s that look for?” Marco asks eyeing Jean suspiciously.

“Nothing, it’s just. Very _you_ ” Jean smirks and Marco snorts.

“Maybe that’s because, oh I don’t know, it _is_ my job” He rolls his eyes at Jean.

“Since when are so damn sassy, Marco takes-everything-literally Bodt?”

“Since I lived with Jean every-other-word-is-sarcasm Kirschtein for the last twelve years” Marco retorted.

“I did it! I actually corrupted saint freckles” Jean threw his arms up in mock victory and Marco shook his head.

“Shut up and drink your coffee” He frowns but it’s obvious he’s trying not to smile and Jean can’t help but think about how nice it is. _What did I do, what did I do to deserve all of this?_

He doesn’t like to dwell on his past mistakes, mostly because they make him feel horribly guilty. Naturally, instead of trying to fix it in any way he avoids it.

“Can I see it?” He asks suddenly and Marco looks confused. _Duh he’s confused he can’t read your mind idiot_. Jean grits through his sudden bout of self-ridicule “The nursery, I mean” he clarifies.

“Oh!” Marco exclaims before his face breaks into a huge smile “Sure, follow me”

When Marco opens the heavy wooden door Jean expects to see the pink room that he had painted Marco in. Instead he’s greeted by the night sky. Not just dark blue with yellow dots for stars. Multi colored galaxies, in different hues. Shimmering stars in various constellations that have been outlined in gold with a light hand floor him.

Marco’s expression is proud and a little smug.

“I was…I thought it was going to be…” Jean tries to articulate his thoughts running his fingers tentatively over the beautiful walls.

“It was, but then I came home one day and it looked like this” Marco explained with a laugh.

“Wait _I_ did this” Jean’s eyes where wide “in a day?”

“Well of course, I’m not the painter here. Unless solid walls count and even then I need painting tape”

“Oh…why?”

Marco shrugs “I just never had the talent for it, even if I did I’d have no idea what to paint…”

Jean shakes his head “no, I mean, why’d I do this?”

“Oh! Well, you told me that you didn’t want our kid to be limited by anything but the stars themselves” Marco laughs at Jean’s expression “like I said, you grow to be quite the cheese ball”

“I like it though, I think this way is better” Marco smiles and Jean wasn’t sure if he was talking about him or the walls. Maybe both.

“You didn’t mind” Jean started to say you ‘didn’t mind dealing with me until then?’ but stopped himself “my painting over the walls I mean, didn’t you mind it?”

“No, I didn’t mind it. The end result is worth some suffering” their eyes met and Jean knew Marco was answering his unspoken question too.

“so, you suffered then” It wasn’t a question.

“Come on, everyone will be waiting for us” Marco smiled, a little strained.

_________

_Why am I still here?_

Marco sat beside the hospital bed, Jean was still unconscious. His parents had left. His ‘friends’ had left.

_I’m just going to get hurt, why am I still here?_

He imagined tumbling down the stairs, the pain strong enough to knock him out. He imagined waking up and his parents not being there looking worried. Waking up and not having Ymir tell him if he wasn’t more careful she’d kick his ass, it was unimaginable.

_Because If I leave he’ll be here alone_

Jean doesn’t look mean like this, he doesn’t look happy either though. He looks…sad, conflicted…broken. He looks broken and it hurts Marco’s heart because no matter what Jean said or did to him, at the end of the day he was still happy and Jean…wasn’t.

_Maybe we really could be friends, if I don’t give up on him_

Marco sighs, stretching a bit. He’s going to be here a while.

______

Sasha and Connie where absent that day, they couldn’t find a babysitter for Jeremie, Jean feels disappointed. He tells himself that’s stupid, they’re strangers. Why should he care if they’re there or not? It’s not even his gallery, not really.

Marco notices and props his laptop on a box; they Skype the couple and the child, now five, during their break. Almost everyone talks to Jeremie in that special voice people use only for children, even Eren. Jean’s surprised the brunette’s voice even goes that soft. So soft it’s almost a croon.

Jean himself stays as quiet as possible Sasha and Connie seem easy going but they probably wouldn’t appreciate him cussing in front of their kid. Jeremie is having none of this and halfway through the call demands his attention “Jan, Jan look I painted. Look it.” The child is holding a water color of what looks like a cat between his pudgy fingers.

Jean snorted. Then he remembered that’s exactly what his own dad used to do. Oh, god was that really who he was turning into. “You didn’t paint that” Jean quipped “You stole that from a museum”

“No I did it! Look” he points to a scribble that might be his signature. Jean gasps dramatically “Wow. Why are we having a gallery for me and not Van Gogh jr. over here?” Jeremie grins a huge gap-toothed grin.

They spend the rest of the call ooing and ahing over the child’s drawings and coloring pages. Sasha hangs them each on the fridge with their own little gallery cards made from post-it’s while Connie wears a fake mustache and pretends to be an art critic. It’s fun and for a little while Jean forgets he doesn’t belong here.

Marco watches him with a warm smile. “Ok, ok we better let you get back to work!” Sasha breaks in with a cheery tone “it’s somebody’s naptime”

“Say goodbye Jeremie” Connie says pointing to the camera.

“Goodbye Jeremie!” the kid says in a fit of giggles

“That does it, you’ve been spending too much time with Jean. You’re starting to get a smart mouth” Connie scolds but he isn’t frowning.

“Bye-bye” Jeremie finally concedes with a little wave. They all say their goodbyes and Marco shuts the computer down.

Even without Connie and Sasha they make good progress, Jean can’t believe how many paintings there are. Though some of them aren’t as good as others. One in particular is fairly bad especially in comparison to the nursery.

Jean supposes it’s supposed to be a graduation portrait, it must be from a photograph because he’s in it as well as Marco, Armin, Mikasa, Eren, and Ymir. He considers placing it back in the box instead of hanging it but Marco is behind him examining it with a fond expression.

“This is my favorite” he hums and Jean looks at him like he’s crazy.

Marco laughs and shakes his head “it’s hard to explain”

_______________

“You know this blindfold is too thin right? I can see everything” Marco says and Jean elbows him. He’d been working on this ‘secret’ all semester and it was going to be a surprise if it killed them both.

“Shut up freckles, I’m trying to be romantic” Marco smiles and closes his eyes and let’s Jean lead him around. Even when he ran him into objects.

“I swear to god Jean if I hit one more lamppost-“ He was interrupted by Jean pulling his blindfold off. They were in Jean’s painting classroom. There positioned on an easel was a painting of their graduation photo.

“Tada” Jean beams proudly in the way that he only does when showing his artwork. “You said this was your favorite picture so…” his cheeks flush.

Marco rolls his eyes and places a kiss on Jean’s cheek “You’re such a cheese ball”

“I’m _romantic_ ” Jean crosses his arms “do you like it?” his confidence wavers as Marco inspects the painting.

He grins, the smile lighting up his eyes and Jean wonders why he ever wanted to make him frown. “It’s wonderful, I love it”

________________

Jean looks at that smile and it makes his heart skip a beat. This is stupid, it’s his art work he should be able to decide rather he wants to hang it or not.  He didn’t have any obligation to Marco…anyone would have acted the way he did under the circumstances.

Marco says nothing but his smile falters “But this is your gallery, not mine” he pats Jean on the shoulder and goes back to unloading boxes. Jean sighs and hangs the painting. Whatever.

The gallery is really starting to come together, Jean thinks, the paintings hung carefully in order of the events they depict rather than when they were painted. Walking through it’s like getting to know the people in them without knowing them.

Everyone who comes in this room will see the memories that matter the most to Jean, or at least did, will, wow time travel is confusing. Jean wants to go home more than ever, the same feeling in his stomach that happened when he ‘apologized’ to Marco has made an appearance and he feels like he might vomit.

He must look as bad as he feels because Armin asks if he is ok. Jean nods slowly before escaping to the bathroom. His hands shake as he pulls the latch to the stall door.

_I want to go home. I hate this. Make it stop_

Jean sits on the cold tile with his head between his knees. Guilt is rising like bile out of his stomach.

He lifts and turns his head just enough time to make it to the toilet. After the retching stops he leans back, guess it was actual bile.

There’s a knock on the stall door and Jean can tell from the neatly tucked socks and hemmed pants that it’s Marco.

“Go away” He spits with as much venom as he can manage. His mouth tastes awful and he wants to wash it out but like hell he’s leaving this stall with Marco out there.

“Are you ok?” Marco asks softly “Armin said you looked pale”

 _Why does he have to worry about me? I don’t want to feel bad, I_ shouldn’t _feel bad. Go away_

“I didn’t do anything wrong” Jean mutters outloud, his voice cracking on the word ‘wrong’

“Stop trying to make me feel bad, I didn’t do anything” It’s a lie and he knows it but maybe if he denies it he’ll believe it again.

“Jean” Marco sighs, trying to find the words “I already told you I forgive you, everyone else does too. That’s why they are here. There’s no such thing as an unfixable mistake”

Jean says nothing as the tears start free flowing again, he bites back a sob. He wants to take it all back, all of it. Why couldn’t he have come here sooner? How could anyone forgive him now? He’s unforgivable.

Selfishly, he opens the stall door and lets Marco wrap his arms around him while he cries like a spoiled child.

“I’m sorry Marco, I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot, I take it all back. Every mean thing I said and did, I’m sorry” Jean presses his face to Marco’s chest and he doesn’t even complain about the wetness, he just runs his fingers soothingly through Jean’s hair.

“It’s ok, you’re going to be ok” Marco places a kiss to his forehead and Jean feels a warmth spread through his body. Then he feels dizzy.

Jean pulls away because he doesn’t want to throw up on Marco. The world is spinning now and it feels like he’s going to fall over.

“Jean, Jean are you ok?” Marco catches Jean just as he passes out.

_________________________________

“Jean? Are you awake?” Jean’s head hurts, he sits up slowly and realizes it’s not just his head that hurts but everywhere. Every inch of his body is sore. He looks around the bright room and his eyes land on Marco.

“You’re shorter than me again” Jean mumbles and Marco looks at him quizzically.

“You hit your head pretty hard…” Marco was being completely genuine, concerned for Jean’s mental well being. Jean shook his head.

“I just had a strange dream…can’t remember what it was about though” he thought hard but it made his head hurt more.

“What time is it?” Jean asks Marco and the other boy checks his watch.

“Its 2 am” He answers nonchalantly. Jean’s eyes widen.

“You’ve been here the whole time?” Jean doesn’t know why but that makes his heart jump. Marco nods like it’s no big deal. He should tell him, about the reason he invited him to the party. He deserves to know.

“About the party…” Jean starts slowly and Marco sighs.

“I know already” He says in a distant voice that makes Jean cringe.

“Oh” there goes Jean’s chance to make friends with the only person to care enough to stay. Why did he stay if he knew?

“I’m sorry” Jean mumbles and surprises himself. He never apologizes. Never. Marco looks shocked too, he rubs his nose nervously.

“It’s ok, really” he gives Jean a small shy smile and the next words spill out before Jean can stop them.

“I want to be your friend” he flushes “If I still can” he adds quickly, looking at Marco who’s expression is unreadable.

“Sure” Marco says, smiling wide now. His eyes light up and it feels familiar, right.

Jean can’t help a small smile of his own, his heart pounding against his broken ribs.

\-------------------------------

Jean is sure he will never get enough of that smile, as long as he lives. Marco is dashing in his suit, escorted by an equally well dressed Ymir. He could be wearing rags though, the flowers in his hand weeds, as long as he had that smile that reached his eyes.

Eren elbows him suddenly and he realizes Marco has reached the front and he’s been staring. He mutters a thanks and Eren gives him a wolfish grin and a thumbs up. In the crowd he can see his sister holding his beautiful 3 month old daughter.

Marco is finishing his vows and Jean’s glad he heard them during practice because he can’t focus on anything at the moment except for how happy he is. He feels the cold metal of the ring on his finger and begins reciting his own vows from memory.

Jean slips the ring on Marco’s finger and the crowd cheers. Jean dips Marco pressing him into a loving kiss.


End file.
